OVER-ACHIEVER

Hi, my name is Anik and I’m an overachiever.  I’m a “do-er”.  I produce.  I’m a driver.  I have ants in my pants.  I’m a dreamer to the extent that I really do believe that anything is possible.  These qualities are my gifts but also my curse.

Sound familiar?  You moms who take it all on, otherwise you feel guilty.   You men who put so much pressure on yourselves to lead your pack that you’re the reason the mid life crisis was invented.  You kids with such an insatiable thirst for accomplishment that you risk burn out by the age of 20.  You visioneers, workaholics, ultra athletes, care givers and dreamers.  

We dream, produce, push and pull because we are born to create. We think that we’re creating “things and experiences” but really we’re creating ourselves based on the impact we want to have on those around us.  For those with big, hairy and audacious dreams, inspiration is our true north but the reality is…there’s so much to be inspired by that we risk drowning in the sea of opportunity.

We’re told we should seek out balance but balance is the proverbial carrot and we feel like we aren’t doing it right if we’re standing on uneven ground.   

When a sailboat is navigating big swell, balance isn’t found directly below the sail but it’s found on the horizon.  When I was learning to surf, I’d pop up on my board and look down at my feet to find balance…inevitably, time and time again I’d take an inelegant nose dive every time I’d look down at my feet.  Surfers innately feel that to be balanced on a surf board, you need to look to where you want to go…not where you’re standing.  Maybe balance is a reference point.  Maybe the expectation that we need to be balanced right where we stand adds to the pressure we put on ourselves.  Maybe it’s just bullshit.

This past weekend, Darin tenaciously took the boys and I on a three day backcountry camping trip. I say he “took us” because leading up to it, the boys and I were tired, a bit annoyed and the whole thing felt like a heaving effort at the end of a busy week.  Six miles into the middle of nowhere,  everything changed.  We found a camp where all there was to think about was sleeping, eating, drinking out of a fresh spring, climbing a peak a few miles further, reading,  and laughing. 

It was the type of pattern disruption that shoves your face into clarity and a bit of perspective.  It’s kind of hard to be an overachiever in the middle of the mountains although  I suppose I could take up whittling and landscape art and hammock making. 

With the transition into fall and back to school, back to routines and shorter days, I think we need to make sure that we’re not putting the cart before the horse.  Physics tells us that we can’t build a house on soft sand just like we can’t produce, make, create, drive, and dream without the solid foundation of our basic needs being met.  

We often focus on things like how many miles we’ve run or walked or biked this week without counting how much water we drank.  We get excited about the latest paleo recipe and  we stay up late making sure it gets done all while comprising our rest and sleep.  We’re so busy making sure our kids are well rounded that we don’t find time to laugh with them as much as we should.

In the coming weeks, other than ensuring a properly function nervous system, the conversation with my patients (and myself) is going to be about the importance of the basics.  

Drinking water (1/2 of your body weight in ounces to be precise) 

Sleeping (7-10 hours per night)  

Quiet time everyday (no tv, not computers, no phone)  

Eating real food

Love and gratitude

Laughter

Walking or moving at least 20 minutes per day

Once these basic needs are being met daily, then we can trust ourselves to take on more.  Until then, we shouldn’t feel the pressure to whittle anything.